He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
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The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
i've created a new STD.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
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Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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