i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Please don't give away my fajitas
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
