The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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