i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
