Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
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