You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
