i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
