My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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