dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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