Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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