Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
