just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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