You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
