whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
