so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
