Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
