I am spending my child support on dildos
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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