No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
