the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the day after is always just damage control
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
