no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
