dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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