Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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