I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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