worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
