At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
