I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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