I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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