If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
