Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
