Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
