Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
