I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
