Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
