TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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