Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
