just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
