Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
