I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
