i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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