dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Houston, we have a squirter
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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