i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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