when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send help, water and tortillas.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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