Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
