Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
