everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
