This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
