new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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