Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
