Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Randomize