That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
