maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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