And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
