Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
