So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
