sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
