I think I am morally bankrupt
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
